Back for now.

Night



So I'm back. But yes .. the big question is .. for how long? I always have these swings. Days where I have heaps on my mind and want to Blog about everything, but don't have the time to do it .. and also those where I sit on Blogger and think .. "Shit. Blank!"

But that's not what I actually think. I actually think, " ..... . ... ...."


One thing I've been realising (over the past 10 minutes or so) is that, as I'm getting older, I feel as if I need to be more careful when I'm choosing my words. I feel as if I may have to submit my post into my English teacher to proof read it before I click on that orange 'Publish Post' button. I feel as if I'm at that age where I shouldn't be making mistakes.

Could this be the reason why I've been Blogging less and less?

Hmm. I don't think so. I think I simply need to snap out of it. I need to write down those thoughts which enter my mind at those times where I'm too busy to type, and get to it later. I simply need that push. That bit of motivation to get me back into the swing of things ..

Oww.

Afternoon



Ouch. My back is currently sooo sore. I've got no idea why. Maybe I'm sleeping funny. Maybe it's because I have such a bad habit at cracking it. Maybe it's because I don't sit right. Maybe it's because I have a crap posture?

All I know is that it feels like Freddy Krueger is scratching on the bones of my spine and it seems to be causing pulses of pain up to my brain.



I've got to find time to head to the Chiro, but I really don't know if they can do anything to help. Last time I saw him, he spent an hour telling me that my back isn't quite right .. which is general knowledge to me. Of course I knew that! Would I go to see him otherwise?

Big sigh.

H(e)ro Nakamura

Afternoon


My mind is still on the whole "LOSER" wave length and it got me thinking once again.

I remember being a huge Heroes fan and always laughed at Hiro Nakamura having such a crap pansy power. What I'm only coming to realise now is that he's the only one who could feel like a loser, but then do something about it.

If I could do the whole STRAIN-the-eyes-shut and jump-back-to-the-past thing, I would fix those things I mentioned.

I would take it easy on the Shisha and open it nicely and slowly, rather than gripping it with such force, flaring my nostrils and tugging and twisting at the same time with such intencity.

I would take my time and overtake the Nissan Pulsar normally, rather than stepping on the pedal, spinning the Supercharger pulley at such a high boost, sucking in the bitumen and spitting it out behind with so much ferocity.

And of course .. I'd eat my Chinese Take-Away and be so content.




I might even burp afterwards.

L o s e r

Afternoon


It has come to my attention several times of late, that I've had quite a few "LOSER" moments. Just those times where you do something so silly (perhaps careless is the better word?) and then stop and wish you could have the opportunity to do it again.

Loser moment number one (in no particular order) - I tried to force open the top of our Shisha (or Hookah) the other evening, and it eventually came out a little too quickly, fell on the glass table outside and broke the top into three pieces. Seems to still work, but I got frustrated at myself for letting it get to me.

Loser moment number two - Just before driving back to Perth from Pemberton, I had said to everyone that I'm going to do what I can to leave as early as possible, just so that I don't have to speed back. You see, I wanted to make it back to Subiaco in time for the Freo Dockers vs. Adelaide Crows game, which had bouncedown at 2:40pm. It sounds like plenty of time, however Pemberton is a good 3 and a half to 4 hours drive away, depending on the traffic.

Anyway, I do the first few hours with no trouble, until I was stuck behind a white Nissan Pulsar who was travelling at 90. As this goes on for quite a few kilometres, a line is starting to form behind me. So naturally, as we get to the overtaking section, I speed up to overtake him to get back into the left lane again, when FLASH! Yes .. a multanova camera. In an instant, my mood for the weekend had gone from 'Relaxed and Happy' to 'Upset and Disappointed'.

What a L O S E R !

Loser moment number three - About a week ago, I remember sitting here at this very spot in deep thought. Wondering what I could eat for lunch. It was such a big dilemma at that time. I was taking dinner plans into account - in terms of what we were eating and at what time - so I knew that I had to eat immediately as if I ate too late, the dinner I was looking forward to wouldn't go down so well.

The next thing I thought about was (I know you would'nt believe me here) the level of healthiness. 99.99% of the time, I DO eat anything and everything as I please. Cheese. Coke. Cake. Ice Cream. Chocolate. Milkshakes. McDonalds. etc etc. But there ARE moments (very rare, but true) where I stop and try to eat something moderately healthy.

Anyway, all this thinking meant that I was running out of time, so I rushed out and got a Footlong Sub from Subway. I came back and ate it and it went down a treat.

Fast forward a few hours later, and I'm at home once again thinking about food as it wasn't quite dinner time. Thoughts floated across towards our take-away Chinese from last night .. hmm .. and how we bought three dishes instead of two .. hmm .. just so that I can take some food for .. hmm .. LUNCH TODAY!

What a bloody LOSER! I had my lunch sitting on my desk at work in front of me, while thinking what I should get for lunch. I went in to work that evening just to pick it up, bring it home and ATE IT when I wasn't even hungry.

What else?

Noon


Hmm. Have seen even more movies lately (over the past month or so). There's actually more than just the below, but I haven't had time to go through them all right now .. sorry!




Step Brothers - Extremely corny, but made me laugh for at least the first half. About two spoiled guys becoming competitive step brothers after their single parents get hitched.






Marley & Me - This was quite sad. Had heard only good things about the movie, so perhaps I expected a bit more. Was still a good movie as I'm a Jennifer Aniston fan. Make sure you have your box of tissues with you .. Not that I'm a movie-cryer.

Basically a tale about a couple embarking on the adventure of marriage, career, family and the World's Worst Dog.



The Reader - This was quite a depressing movie. I can't remember a SINGLE happy moment throughout the whole show. It was just sad after sad. You tend to get very mixed emotions about Kate Winslet as you really aren't sure whether you like her or not in the movie.

All I DO know is that after seeing this one .. you realise that there is nothing appealing about her at all! Perhaps we see too much of her?




In the valley of Elah - Quite liked this one. It's based on real events and is basically about a father on the search for his son's killers.

There weren't many boring bits, and NOOOO, it's not because of Charlize Theron. She really looked quite average through the movie.



The Edge of Love - This was quite a good movie too, based on the lives of Keira Knightley and Sienna Miller through the time of World War II. Yes, both of them in the same film. Ouch.



Bolt - Very funny animated movie about a dog convinced that his role as a "super dog" is real. Totally cute!

Footy Season

Morning



So the AFL season has finally started once again. It felt like such a long break. This year, we have Premium Membership, so will be at every Dockers home game. Yay! Thanks to my brother for that. It was part of my Birthday present last year!

We've started the Footy Tipping comp this year once again on Footy Tips. Competing this year .. in no particular order, we have:

Esa Mitchell
Vieng Nguyen
Paulo Cue
Zul Zainal
Hidio Jackson
Ling Lee
Beverlee Gan
Tamalee Orr
Kellie Watts
Craig Hector
Kim Flavell
Francis Cue

and of course, myself. I'm already losing because I tipped Richmond to beat Carlton last night. What the hell was I thinking?!

Myself

Afternoon

***********FOODOLOGY******

What is your salad dressing of choice?
Balsamic Vinegar with not too much oil.

What is your favourite sit-down restaurant?
Ha-Lu, Mt Hawthorn

What food could you eat for 2 weeks straight and not get sick of it?
Soup

What are your pizza toppings of choice?
Prosciutto, Rocket and Cheese

What do you like to put on your toast?
Butter .. lots of it.

**********TECHNOLOGY***************

How many television sets are in your house?
Two

What color of cell phone do you have?
Black

***************BIOLOGY******************

Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Right

Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Appendix

What is the last heavy item you lifted?
IBM and a Dell Server.

Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
No.

************BULLCRAPOLOGY**************

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
No.

If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
Hmm. I'd have to think about this for awhile.

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
Most definitely.

************DUMBOLOGY******************

How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
Only one!

Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
I used to get pulled over once every two weeks in the FTO, but haven't for the past year or so.

Last person you talked to?
Zul. Met up for lunch.

Last person you hugged?
Esa.

**************FAVORITOLOGY****************

Season?
Winter. I love the cold gloomy weather Winter brings.

Holiday?
Christmas.

Day of the week?
Friday.

Month?
December. Christmas month!

***********CURRENTOLOGY*****************

Missing someone?
No.

Mood?
Tired.

What are you listening to?
Buena Vista Social Club.

Watching?
My computer screen here at work.

Worrying about?
How I'd be able to afford a 135i.

***************RANDOMOLOGY*****************

First place you went this morning?
To the bathroom!

Do you smile often?
Yes. I think so.

Movie Updates

Afternoon



Have watched quite a few more movies lately.



Changeling - Not what I had expected. Started a little slow, but got interesting and actually quite liked it in the end. Wasn't really impressed from the trailer, but Angelina Jolie movies are a must.




Seven Pounds - Wasn't that interested in watching this one either, but turns out to be very good. Deep and moving right through to the end.




The Wrestler - Mickey Rourke at his best. Whole movie basically shows his life - rather than a normal story convention. Marisa Tomei plays a stripper in the movie. And does well considering she's 45. Oh yes she is.




Lakeview Terrace - Hadn't heard of this movie, but wanted to watch it as Samuel L Jackson is the lead. He does an awesome job of being a prick in this movie.



Slumdog Millionaire - What can I say? Won 8 Oscars and definitely deserved all the attention it's receiving.


Have watched many more during the past couple of months.. but I'll perhaps save some for another post soon.

Exhale.

Afternoon



When you're upset and there are a thousand things on your mind, you try different things to cheer yourself up. You listen to the happiest music you can think of (mine at the moment is from the Buena Vista Social Club), you eat anything you like (which I tend to do anyway), you do 'comfort' things which you are usually good at and find that you will eventually find that smile - even if it's a fairly fake one which doesn't FEEL like a smile.

You make changes. If things weren't working and caused you to get upset, you tend to change things up as it can't really get any worse right? Wrong.

That was what I used to think. I used to say to myself in my darkest hours that it could never get any worse than this .. and what do you know? Things get worse. Things sometimes even get so bad that they dwarf out the first 'tiny' problem all of a sudden.

We are never prepared for things to go bad. We are never really sure what to do at such dramatic times. Things happen for a reason. These things play a huge part of who we eventually become .. good or bad. In either case, when you're down and out, you should do what you can to cheer up. Life is far too short to be upset. Everything gets bottled up deep inside you. You continue to breath in, hoping for your lungs to fill with fresh air. Thoughts enter your head much faster than you can process them. This is all only natural ..

... just don't forget that at the end of it all, we need to let it out. Exhale.

Emptiness.

Morning.



I know my last post was already written in blue, however I couldn't use any other colour today, as this is how I feel. Blue.

Sometimes life throws things at you which you just can't seem to avoid. These things are beyond your control and there is absolutely nothing you can do to change it. It's these things in life which show the chinks in your armour. It reminds you that you aren't and never will be .. who you thought you were and who you hoped to be. It's these things which change your life forever.

It slowly falls out of grasp. Just beyond your reach. Most would say that you could just stretch that tiny bit more and it's yours for the taking, but in this particular situation, you cannot. You are torn. Unable to know what is right from wrong. Unable to tell if the pain in your chest is the short of breath in your lungs, or your heart slowly withering away.

You try to smile but it just doesn't feel right. You try to look within your past to happier times, but they always seem overshadowed by the trauma of the present. I used to think that if you can't see the bright side of life, you should polish the dull side .. what was I thinking? That makes no sense whatsoever. When it hurts this bad, you lose hope. You lose faith. You lose yourself.