I feel somewhat detached from this world. As if gravity appears to work on every other person apart from me. As if I’m floating through space further and further away. The detail of the planet becoming more and more unclear.
I begin to lose the ability to do certain things. To feel certain things. Am I supposed to struggle against my will to get myself back to where I was? Is it even against my will?
A sense of paranoia comes over me, as it feels as if everyone knows my particular situation, but simply do not care. Almost to the point where there was a meeting where every person in the world had come together for this discussion, and I was the only one who did not receive an invitation.
Why do I feel this way? Why have I been singled out? Has anyone even noticed that I’ve floated away several weeks ago, and is there a single person there who has missed me since?
Scary, disturbing thoughts and images flash through my mind. Visions of those whom I love and had trusted simply laughing at the fact that I have finally left. They are now able to move on with life itself without me. The world can slowly start turning once again now that I’m no longer there. The trees and plants can start growing once again. The rain against the mountains can start to fall as planned. The tides of the oceans can start beating against the shores as they used to.
I can almost hear happiness from where I am. The world is now a tiny speck here in space and looks about the same size as the small star beside it.
Is it emptiness which I’m feeling inside me? Is it heartache? Perhaps a bit of both, with a drop of pain also.
When did this start? I think back, trying to remember the point in which my body felt light .. and my feet lifted from the ground as if a balloon would from the grasp of a small child. I vaguely remember the fear and the panic, just trying to hold on to things which I could simply not live without.
It feels like such a long time ago now. Did anyone even look up and see me float away? Why couldn’t they see me?
Where to from here .. ?
5 comments:
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